Monday, February 28, 2005

...Wife Swapping Strategies

I promise this is not going to permanently turn into “The Gooch On Dumb Things in Movies” blog, but this has been nagging at me for the past 24 hours.

"Consenting Adults", a small, forgettable thriller from the early 90s, notable only because it starred Kevin Spacey before he became a household name, was on HBO yesterday. Whatever potential this movie had to be entertaining was lost on me when I first saw it over a decade ago because I found the key plot point that sets the film in motion to be so profoundly ridiculous and unbelievable. Since the entire rest of the movie requires that you buy into this completely goofy premise I just couldn’t enjoy it. Tell me if you think I’m crazy:

The Kevin Spacey character convinces his next door neighbor, played by Kevin Kline (for a very mediocre movie, the film did have a very impressive cast), to swap wives for a night. What is unique about his plan is his confidence that they can do this without their wives knowledge. He theorizes that all couples sometimes do it in the middle of the night, when the wife is oftentimes sort of half-asleep to begin with, and thus, too tired to even really notice if the person having sex with her is a man other than her husband. And Kline, hesitant to the idea at first despite his growing attraction to the Spacey character’s wife, finds he is unable to argue against this airtight logic and readily agrees.

Now, I think anyone who is in a long term relationship, or at least anyone who’s comfortable enough in their relationship to be honest, will acknowledge that when you’ve been with the same person for a significant amount of time, not every single time together is necessarily a highly passionate, memorable encounter worthy of inclusion in “Red Hot Amateurs XXXIV”. But I don’t think I'm being overly egotistical to think that even at my most forgettable my wife might vaguely notice if the person noodging her for a little late-night sleep-aid after she’s already started to drift off was someone other than me.

At least I hope.
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