Friday, July 23, 2004

...(Some More Of) What I've Learned So Far

That whole deal about the high school quarterback and prom queen becoming fat, poor and ugly after graduation while the nerds and geeks all become rich and good-looking is mostly an urban myth created by people who think life should always be fair

Addendum to above: Some people refuse to vote for the pretty girls on "American Idol", regardless of their vocal talents, as a way of vicariously getting back at the popular people from high school

There is a perceived shame about “jumping on the bandwagon", hence the near-impossibility of finding anyone who will admit to smoking cigars only after it became trendy or following the Anaheim Angels only after they won the World Series in `02

A good sign some of the romance has slipped out of your marriage is when your spouse scolds you for neglecting to spray Glade after using the bathroom

Nobody on either side of the abortion debate has ever changed their opinion as a result of reading a bumper sticker that argued the other side’s point of view.

Being the designated driver is never very much fun, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that it's fun to watch drunk people act silly

After any major local or national tragedy, you can count on some "Chicken Soup For the Soul"-reading numbnut to say, “The bright side is, it has really brought us together as a community”

In hindsight, despite the relatively low price, the XFL season tickets I bought don't really seem worth the money

The reason so many people have trouble finding a mate is because too many people, regardless of their looks, think they deserve to go out with men who look like Brad Pitt or women who look like Cameron Diaz

Any religion besides your own seems vaguely like a cult
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