...The Name Game

I have the misfortune of having been born with a terrible last name. I know almost everybody thinks his or her last name is bad, but mine really is. A simple removal of one letter and replacement with another turns my last name into a term nobody wants to be saddled with. (In the hope of keeping at least some sort of anonymity on here I am not revealing the name except to say the altered version is a synonym for dork or geek.)

As I’ve gotten older I’ve sort of come to terms with my last name, but growing up it always seemed incredibly unfair to have a last name that served as a virtual “kick me” sign. When you’re a kid there are only a millions different reasons kids can find to pick on you; my last named was like handing them the ammunition to assault me with. There were points in my life where I seriously questioned whether any woman would ever agree to marry me solely because I couldn’t imagine anyone who would in their right mind voluntarily take my last name. I already feel guilty for giving my young son a last name that virtually guarantees teasing once he enters elementary school.

Still, I guess things could always be worse:

Nicky Butt