...Ideas

Good Idea: My wife taking my not-so-subtle hint about what I wanted for my birthday and getting me great, plaza-level seats to a San Diego Chargers game

Unforeseen Circumstance: Being seated next to the drunkest human being I have ever seen on Planet Earth (which I say not for effect or humorous exaggeration, but because I have truly never witnessed anyone in person who was this intoxicated – a level to which can only be achieved by a true alcoholic who has the tolerance to keep drinking well past the point where the average person would have long before passed out).

Bad Idea: Deciding that out of all the possible scenarios for dealing with this situation (ignoring him, complaining to stadium management, trying to look for different seats, etc.) “trying to keep up with him drink-for-drink so he wouldn’t seen as annoying” was the best one.

Good Idea: Having arranged for a babysitter beforehand.