Tuesday, January 31, 2006

...Shorts

*I’m going to go out on a limb and guess the majority of women who complain men are overly superficial and only care about a woman’s physical attractiveness are not, on the average, all that hot.

Also going out on a limb, I’m going to guess that most of the men who complain about women being money-grubbing gold diggers concerned only with how much money is in a man’s bank account or how nice of a car he drives generally don’t have a whole lot of money or drive a very nice car.

*A joke that has reached its “Sell-by” date: Any joke involving a person who orders an extremely fattening meal and then orders a diet cola

*Regarding the James Frey controversy – I find it ironic how people get up in arms because an author embellished some facts to make his book more entertaining, yet nobody seems to care that the majority of those notoriously bad auditions you see on “American Idol” are obvious plants or that many of the supposedly trailer-trash, inbred folks who appear on “Jerry Springer” are actors. And to think people used to make fun of me for watching wrestling.

*Portrait of the Misogynist as a Young Man: I got a Princess Leah action figure for Chanukah once and started crying because I didn’t want an action figure of a girl

*My Proudest Moments Since Becoming A Father:
2. When my son learned to walk
1. (tie) A. When my son started requesting to be read to by throwing books at my wife or I and saying, “BOOK!”
B. When my son walked over to the baby gate in front of the stairs and said, “Poop?” and it turned out he had, in fact, crapped his pants.
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