...Space Invaders
I’ve grown to really detest January. Every year at this time my local gym is invaded by the New Year Resolutionists who for the first two or three weeks of every year choose to hold onto the overly optimistic belief that this will be the year they’re finally going to change their lifelong habit of eating too much and exercising too little and make their body go from disgusting to desirable.
I guess I’ve just become jaded to it. Yeah, I know there is always that one person in a hundred, the Jared from Subway type, who is actually able to make a permanent lifestyle change and will stick to a plan of healthy eating and regular physical activity, but these types are far outnumbered by those who go to the gym for the first few weeks of January buoyed by the fantasy of how much happier their life will be once their body more resembles The Rock or Jennifer Garner’s rather than Chris Farley or Sally Struthers’, but quit after a few short weeks upon realizing that getting in shape takes a lot of real hard work, commitment and sacrifice. I know this because at this time every year I start to see all sorts of new faces at the gym and just as soon these new faces disappear and it’s back to the same familiar crew.
I don’t mean to sound so harsh. I don’t really give a shit what people look like – I have friends of all shapes and sizes. And it’s not like I’ve never broken a New Years Resolution. Chances are I won’t be sticking to that one about spending more time this year reading the classics while spending less time following the search for the next American Idol.
But I’m so sick and tired of having my life inconvenienced the first few weeks of the year by the people who further overcrowd my already overcrowded gym based on the fantasy that they’re going to succeed with the same goal they’ve failed with every year previous. Maybe I’m too picky, but I prefer to get my exercise on the weights and machines within the gym itself, not on the 20-minute walk I’m forced to take from my car to the gym entrance because these wannabes have overtaken all of the available spaces in the parking lot. I’m a fairly patient guy; I understand that when you go to the gym during peak hours your going to have to occasionally wait for equipment. But when a full additional hour is added to my workout time because of the extra traffic caused by those who like to fool themselves the first few weeks of every January, well, that’s just kind of annoying.
So, have a great 2005 and stay the fuck out of my gym.
I guess I’ve just become jaded to it. Yeah, I know there is always that one person in a hundred, the Jared from Subway type, who is actually able to make a permanent lifestyle change and will stick to a plan of healthy eating and regular physical activity, but these types are far outnumbered by those who go to the gym for the first few weeks of January buoyed by the fantasy of how much happier their life will be once their body more resembles The Rock or Jennifer Garner’s rather than Chris Farley or Sally Struthers’, but quit after a few short weeks upon realizing that getting in shape takes a lot of real hard work, commitment and sacrifice. I know this because at this time every year I start to see all sorts of new faces at the gym and just as soon these new faces disappear and it’s back to the same familiar crew.
I don’t mean to sound so harsh. I don’t really give a shit what people look like – I have friends of all shapes and sizes. And it’s not like I’ve never broken a New Years Resolution. Chances are I won’t be sticking to that one about spending more time this year reading the classics while spending less time following the search for the next American Idol.
But I’m so sick and tired of having my life inconvenienced the first few weeks of the year by the people who further overcrowd my already overcrowded gym based on the fantasy that they’re going to succeed with the same goal they’ve failed with every year previous. Maybe I’m too picky, but I prefer to get my exercise on the weights and machines within the gym itself, not on the 20-minute walk I’m forced to take from my car to the gym entrance because these wannabes have overtaken all of the available spaces in the parking lot. I’m a fairly patient guy; I understand that when you go to the gym during peak hours your going to have to occasionally wait for equipment. But when a full additional hour is added to my workout time because of the extra traffic caused by those who like to fool themselves the first few weeks of every January, well, that’s just kind of annoying.
So, have a great 2005 and stay the fuck out of my gym.
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